The very concept of being “mixed race” means more than just being a product of parents from different races. It means that as a person, you are the materialization of two cultures plus you must fulfill the role of the “mixed person”. In society, people of mixed races have a more difficult time fitting in to a particular group because, they are representing two or three entirely diverse cultures and still trying to determine what role they should play. From the beginning, people who are mixed race have a much more complex struggle to work through to in order to discover the identity of their cultures. There are multiple layers added to this person that contributes to the struggle: the mother’s culture, the father’s culture, the culture of the environment and the personal identity they are trying to establish. Many of these aspects contradict each other which may add a feeling of division within the ethnically mixed person.
In the book Mexican Whiteboy, Danny experiences many different emotions and feels split as a person. He has been raised as a white child, with a white mother, in a predominantly white environment; however he is aware of his Mexican heritage and feels as though he is an outsider. When he goes to National City, he once again feels out of place because he cannot speak the language of his family and peers. Danny never truly felt that he was one of the family. When Danny lived with his mother, he was never “white” enough to be accepted at his private school. Yet, when he lived in National City, he was never Mexican enough to feel 100% welcomed.
“To be a real Lopez, though- that’s what he’d pick. A chip off the old block. One of the cousins from el barrio. “(46) Danny’s “whiteness” in National City was seen as special and he was treated very differently than his Mexican cousins because he had the “gift of whiteness”. Danny was the one that his Mexican relatives held on a pedestal because of his potential. He was Mexican enough to be part of the family, yet white enough to move forward and do great things with his life.
“And when his grandma passes out homemade tortillas, hot off the griddle, she does it based on family rank. It’s a subtle and unspoken ranking system, but one each and every person in the house understands.” (47)
This quote is an example of how Danny understood his “gift”. This simple act may have seemed as a good natured gesture that was based on love; however a thinly veiled layer of resentment always hung in the air. Danny could feel the eyes on him and hated it. All he ever wanted was to just be “a pair of Grandma’s worn out house slippers.”(47)
Danny’s life is constructed on racial duality in the sense that he really isn’t Mexican and he really isn’t white. He realizes that in order to make himself whole, he needs to embrace his own “third” culture. By accepting his third culture, he may be able to fill the gaps within himself discover who he wants to be as a person, instead of just being defined by his heritages. “I’m like me,” Danny interrupts again. I’m just myself. That’s it.””(241) Danny internally and externally struggles in his search for identity. He vents his anger, sadness, and frustration by digging his fingernails into his wrists. When Danny feels the pain in his wrists, he remembers he is alive. Danny has become numb in many ways because of the internal trauma he has experienced. The absence of his father adds to the resentment he feels for his mother (the white part of him) because he believes that since his father went away, his mother has eliminated the Mexican part of him. Danny interprets his mothers “rejection” of his culture, as a rejection of himself. He believes that she only accepts the part of him that she wants him to be.
Near the conclusion of the story, Danny had grown exponentially from who he was at the beginning of the story. When Danny finally faced up against Kyle Sorenson at the last hustle he and Uno did, I think he realized that he no longer needed to lean on the idea of finding his father. He learned that in order to find who he really is, he has to be able to stand alone. “Danny peers into the sky. Like he would when he used to stand behind the fence, watching Leucadia practice. He searches the pale blue sky for a hawk, but there aren’t any hawks. The sky’s perfectly empty. Just blue and a bright orange sun. Even the thin patch of clouds passed. He’s on his own now. Not just for today, for this next pitch, but forever.” (236)
This story paints a very vivid picture of what it is to go through the struggles of being a mixed race person, living in American society. Danny grows and learns from his feelings and experiences. I believe that the underlying theme of this story is that no matter what you are supposed to be labeled as; you cannot truly understand who you are without establishing one’s own perception of self.
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